The trailer for the next installment of Underworld dropped today and well:
You know the movie is going to be shit when they have to heavily borrow scenes from the previous installments to try to sell it. With the vampire and werewolf subgenre being as saturated as it is, I'm surprised that Underworld still got the budget to make a final (PLEASE LORD) installment .
Basic synopsis: werewolves (sorry... Lycans) and vampires are fighting over stupid shit (aka they hate each other and want the other race completely wiped out). Selene (Kate Beckinsale) gets thrown into the middle of it and everyone comes after her. Sound familiar?
PROBABLY BECAUSE EACH OF THEM HAVE THE SAME GODDAMN PLOTLINE.
WHO WATCHES THESE MOVIES?
Okay... I do and I totally hate myself for it. By no means great, the first Underworld had a new(ish) and refreshing take on the whole "vampire vs werewolves (LYCANS)" story. The success of the first one was understandable. Plus Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous (and in a super tight leather outfit no less. Gee I wonder if they did that on purpose).
There's some decent talent in this film: from Tobias Menzies (Outlander, Game of Thrones) to Charles Dance (Game of Thrones) and even Theo James (this guy LOVES to be in terrible movies but damn 😍). Where you at Scott Speedman? (Not here!)
While we're on the subject of terrible movie series' that should die: Resident Evil. Milla Jovovich, you're talented and I get your husband is behind (heh heh) most of these movies BUT you need to move on babe. (Let's be honest here for a moment: Does Leeloo still have a career left without these apocalyptic films?)
The message behind my rant on the laziness (dreariness, repetitiveness, insipidness) of "blockbuster" Hollywood movies being marketed toward us: PLEASE STOP SUPPORTING THEM. Watch at home when they come on TV or Netflix. Demand some high-quality entertainment!
P.S. Can we stop with the remaking (or creating unnecessary sequels) of old classics (in particular, Arnold Schwarzenegger films: Predator, Conan, Total Recall, Terminator (aka 2009 version), Kindergarten Cop, etc. -- If it ain't got Arnie, it ain't gonna work).
Side note: Listen Khal Drogo, you are one attractive man but Conan did not work out for you. For the love of all that is cinema brilliance, please leave The Crow alone.