So Kingdom Hearts Still Exists and It's Been Delayed | KH 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue

Kingdom Hearts still exists peeps and the third one is a long way away. The newest introduction to the series, Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (yes folks, that is the actual name. It's the Dark of The Moon of Kingdom Hearts), has been delayed from a December release to January. But.... who really cares? 

Robin Hood: Men In Tights | Brooksfilms, 1993

Robin Hood: Men In Tights | Brooksfilms, 1993

Let's take a quick poll here: who is actually upset (or surprised) by the delay? (But delaying games has become the norm nowadays, right? Read).

When the Disney-Square mashup was first released, it was something new and unheard of. Being able to play alongside your favorite Disney and Final Fantasy characters... are you kidding? How awesome was that? Simple and Clean was my jam back in 2002. 

As KH gained popularity, Square began to cash in and crank out multiple sequels and side stories with multitudes of KH only characters: Sora, Kairi, Roxas, Rikku, Axel, etc. The games were released on smartphones, Nintendo 3DS systems, Playstation.... basically every console but Xbox and Gamecube. And there are mangas as well! WHO IS BUYING THIS STUFF?  (Seriously -- if you are one of those individuals, please tell me why?)

The story itself is so convoluted that I stopped playing midway through the sequel (Kingdom Hearts 2 FYI: I didn't bother with any of the handheld versions). The basic storyline is that the KH ONLY characters are just looking for their friends across many Disney "planets" and fighting the "Heartless" at the same time.... I think. Honestly, I think that the team behind KH doesn't even know what they're writing at this point.

Seriously, though: if anyone can explain the story behind this whole KH universe, that'd be grand. I gave up. I even bought the Remastered versions for the PS3 and played it for two weeks before I realized that just didn't give a shit and had other things to do -- i.e. The Last of Us, Bioshock Infinite.

What is he wearing? | Kingdom Hearts 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue

What is he wearing? | Kingdom Hearts 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue

Final Chapter Prologue is part remaster and part collection. It will include an HD remaster of the 3DS "classic" Dream Drop Distance and two new "experiences" titled Back Cover and A Fragmentary Passage (how douchey do these sound? Also, confusing.) 

A Fragmentary Passage is a new playable chapter following Aqua in the Realm of Darkness (who is this Aqua? Should I care?). Back Cover will be a "cinematic" experience. Basically -- a movie that tells the backstory of the "Foretellers," which is connected to the smartphone game, Kingdom Hearts Unchained X. So that'll be fun (read: not). 

Watch the newest trailer below (hey, it's a new Simple and Clean remix! So original!):

Don't freak if you don't understand what is happening above: no one does. Let me be honest here --  Since I (not so) subconsciously hate myself, I will probably buy this convoluted mess and attempt to finish it (read: I won't). Well, at least we have a plethora of games to choose from to hold us over until January.

Happy Keyblading Everyone.

Side Note: Previous trailer for your viewing pleasure: